It all comes down to this...

So this is it, the last week of first semester as a grad student. What can I say about the experience? Not much because my brain feels like porridge. I've been working on the last assignments that are due and let me tell you, thinking has become extremely difficult. It's like I've pulled a muscle in my brain.

I've got two major assignments still in a state far away from done. An essay and the second draft of my play. Thank goodness the thesis proposal is in a place that I can hand it in without too much regret. However, the next week (the last week) is going to be a struggle to get the other two things done. I could use a week of sleeping in watching movies and having fun... no work included!

I am thankful for the month off that is coming up in just over a week. Even though I will be preparing myself for next term by reading, at least it is a month! A full month of puppies, nephews, sisters, parents, friends and cozy home! Emotional rejuvenation is in store for me soon and I need it!

Countdown continues

Only four class days left! But... lots to do still.

The best news is that all those critical theory readings are DONE! Now I just have to get through the test (which we have not been given any details on yet - yikes!) and the essay. Other than that, a bit of thesis proposal updates and the small presentation for that and the second draft of my play are the only things left on the list. Too bad they are all rather large things. 

Here's hoping...

The Countdown!

14 days left of classes!!!! I'm counting down.

What still needs to get done you ask? A bucket full!

1) 15 articles to read for critical theory - I'm a bit behind :(
2) 1 critical theory test
3) 1 critical theory essay 10-12 pages long
4) the second draft of my play
5) Present my thesis proposal

Plus all the work for my research position assignment that I've been putting aside to get my homework done.

I have plenty of time to get this all done... right?

Surviving grad school

Grad school is intense and most days I end up in tears over some stressful event or another. But I think I have found the way to survive. Almost like a security blanket, these pajama's just feel like you are wrapped in happy things all day long, and yes, I wear them as much of the day as I can. Reading critical theory never felt better than while snuggled into these big red things. Writing thesis proposals and planning hour long presentations on a topic I don't understand are now cozy events rather than nervous breakdown triggers. Who knew something this simply could change my whole outlook on life? Well, I guess feeling like you are being constantly hugged would do that.

I've got that and I've got that... but now what?

So, here I am attempting to enjoy some nice suffrage drama and relate it to some good old fashioned feminist theory while revealing the contemporary relevancy of these plays, when out of the blue the biggest road block hits me over the head. I literally cannot put all the pieces together and I'm running out of time. I feel like I'm working on a jigsaw puzzle but made of theory and history and theatre and crazy ladies who got thrown in jail every other day! A very intriguing  puzzle but I'm not sure if I can put it together by Tuesday. Maybe if I had a couple months to sift through everything that has been written on them and by them, but not by Tuesday.

One's one body and the one body of the body of one? Critical Theory crazy sentences!

Here's another crazy sentence I came across in a critical theory reading. It's from Judith Butler's Performative Acts and Gender Constitution An Essay in Phenomenology and Feminist Theory.


"One is not simply a body, but, in some very key sense, one does one's body and, indeed, one does one's body differently from one's contemporaries and from one's embodied predecessors and successors as well."

And again I say "What?!"

"Our daughters daughters will adore us..."

"...and they'll sing in grateful chorus. Well done, sister suffragette." Remember that? It's from Mary Poppins! But we don't sing in grateful chorus for the suffragettes, actually we rarely even mention them anymore.

This is a little thesis update. This week I wrote a preliminary thesis proposal. Here's the short version:

Taking the plays of Cicely Hamilton (popular playwright of suffrage propaganda plays) and her collaborations with the Pioneer Players (a women's theatre company from London who produced suffrage propaganda plays) I will apply first-wave feminist theory and contemporary feminist theory to them through detailed dramaturgical analysis in order to discover their contemporary relevancy.

But, in the meantime, Mrs. Banks says it better.

Getting caught up

Wow, so busy! But, now I am in full swing catch up mode. This week I had the first draft of my play due (minimum 40 pages - so quite a big piece), an essay outline, a mid-term, and my thesis proposal. Phew. Thank goodness it's all over. Now I am trying to catch up with everything that I neglected for the past couple weeks, like critical theory (yikes!).

But, on better news, the weather has gone back up to 15 degrees and sunny, no more snow for us, and even though the sun doesn't rise until about 8:30 these days, every night I get to see beautiful sunsets! Great facing west and on the top floor!

And then there was snow!

This morning the snow began! From now on, school bags will be added to winter jackets, boots, and lots of layers, Christmas decorations may have to trump Halloween and thoughts of waking up to cinnamon buns are starting to fill my head.
Oh, does this mean that Starbucks is going to bring back the dark cherry mocha? What better way to enjoy an article on French feminism than with a big mug of dark cherry mocha!

But seriously... what a week coming up! Last week to work on my play plus the last week to come up with my outlines for two huge papers, one of which is my thesis proposal. It's going to need hard work, dedication, will power, and maybe some baths! Wish me luck.

...and also do this... by next week.

So, here I am stressing out about my life on a daily basis because of all the work that I have to do. Hour long presentations, essays, 40 page minimum new play written in 12 days, dramaturge a new piece for a play festival, meet with the artistic director of a pretty happening theatre company and a playwright to help them dramaturge a new piece, and let's not forget all that critical theory, the 8 separate articles for each week that I have to do subsequent readings for because I can't make heads or tails out of any of them. Now, I have a teacher who... well, let's just say has done very well for himself in the writing community and who is also rather older than most people should be when they teach a class. Here was my Tuesday morning at 9 am (without coffee, because he doesn't allow food or drink in the classroom - the school does, you can have a buffet in that room if you want as far as the school is concerned).
I want you to:
1) make a production book for both of the plays we've just read - with a bio of the author, your comments on the play, read other plays by the same author, find a painter that has the same feel as the piece, come up with a design idea and include your artwork for the set and costumes - use watercolours, if you don't have some go buy some - find actors you think would be good for the parts, find a composer whose music would work with the play. So, have that to me by next week.
2) We are going to put on a production of this play. You can memorize this in a couple weeks right? And you (me) will direct it.
3) And how are those 3 act plays coming? (to which we all replied that he decided to not have us write a 3 act play because it would be impossible for us to get it in - to which he replied he was still on the fence about that)
This being said, he also completely forgot about another assignment he gave us and this Tuesday told us not to do it. Which means, I'm really not sure how much of all this I should actually start, will it all be retracted next week?
He is, however, a clearly brilliant man with impossible large dreams for us all.

Coming Up This Week

Well, this weekend has been a bit stressful preparing a presentation on Derrida and his extremely ridiculous theories. I am looking forward to Tuesday evening, after the presentation, after the long and bizarre writing class and 6 hours of continuous class. Then I'm on to writing, reading and peer reviewing papers for my Friday class and hopefully getting some serious writing done on this play (first draft - 40 pg. min. - due in about 2 weeks!). I hope that this week will allow me a bit of relaxing once the stressful Tuesday passes by and I can actually feel the freedom to focus my attention on my other classes and work, mainly writing that play! Fringe applications are coming up too!

Tuesday night may need to involve a long, steamy bubble bath and a movie break!

Critical Theory 2 - The Bumbling Student 2

"Critical Theory Today: The User Friendly Guide" by Lois Tyson.

All I can say Lois Tyson is, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

The most helpful book in the world. Derrida, Deconstruction, Differance (with an A!) no problem! 

Not only does this book explain things clearly, but it gives both very simple examples (colours of the rainbow) and also very complex examples (deconstructing "The Great Gatsby"). So before you get to Fitzgerald you understand the concept with colours first. It's so much easier to deconstruct Gatsby when I understand how to deconstruct the colour red. - Red is red because we know it's not blue or green or yellow or any other colour, because we know what it's not we know what it is, this is the difference, the delay in our understanding of the colour red as we process in our mind all the colours it is not, is the deferment of understanding. Combine those two process and you get Differance (with an A!). Then think of all the concepts that red makes you think of (blood, stop, revenge, etc) and that is part of the never ending meaning that the colour red can have. The binary opposites (red compared to green for example) can show the ideology of the text by showing which one is privileged. With the simple concepts of red and green as stop and go, if red is given more importance in a text than the act of stopping, halting, hesitating is the dominant ideology. 

Now, apply that to Gatsby, a play, Marxist theory, etc. and you are doing very complex deconstruction!!! Piece of cake! 

???

Critical Theory 2 - The Bumbling Student 1

HEY!! Finally had a good critical theory class! I understood it... for the most part and actually enjoyed the class!

What the present???

I found this one sentence particularly troubling and a perfect example of what it is that I am supposed to understand.

"We can expose only what, at a certain moment, can become present, manifest; what can be shown, presented as a present, a being-present in its truth, the truth of a present of the presence of a present." (Derrida)

Yup, that's seven (7!!!) times he uses the word 'present' and the vastly different 'presence' in one sentence! I won't even begin to quote the way he tries to describe the difference of the terms 'difference' and 'differance' by using only derivatives of the word 'difference'.

Critical Theory 2 - The Bumbling Student 0

Well Marxism, I thought I had you. Turns out I didn't. Gosh darn it, how do I beat you critical theory?

It's About Time...!

Last night I finally got to read a play! The first and only that I have to read for this term as a drama graduate student. Let me tell you, it was so refreshing to read dialogue and not a long over winded monologue by some French philosopher who has a theory on a theory which in itself is a theory on a theory.And to top it off, it's a play I don't think I've ever read, Uncle Vanya by Chekov!! I know I've  read his other plays, but not that one. It's just so lovely.

And... I finally got to read some critical theory that made sense. Thank goodness for Marx!

Marxism and me, we'll be friends for the next few weeks!

Thesis Update

Met with a prof. about brainstorming some ideas today; I'm on the right track, he likes my idea and might even end up being my advisor!!!!! It's a GO!

Critical Theory vs. The Bumbling Student

This time I"m coming armed!

Critical Theory 1 - The Bumbling Student 0

Honestly! I was ready to tackle this sucker yesterday and then I started reading and I just wanted to cry. It's like a sea of words that do not make any sense together. I swear these philosophers were just pulling words out of their behinds. "As long as they have more than 15 letters they will do the trick."

Well, critical theory, guess what? I'm not that easy to beat! I'll be back... and I will win. Get ready to be terminated!

Also, it's a mandatory class so I kind of have to win in the end or else I won't get my degree - pressure :{

Thesis Update

So the pressure is on! Apparently I was supposed to be thinking about my thesis topic all summer and have a detailed plan already! I was totally unaware. So... recent weeks have had a bit of chaos in them over what to write my thesis on. However, things are now going well. I have started doing some very interesting research into women writers from the suffrage movement. Taking a look at British, American and of course Canadian playwrights and the political plays they were writing. It is very intriguing and I'm learning a lot already. Let's hope I can find an advisor!

Really? A computer can do this? Why have I wasted so much time?

Today I was introduced to a wonderful program called Refworks. Not only will it save the vital information on books, articles, websites, journals, etc, like where to find it and all the reference info, but it will actually cite it at the press of a button in a word document and create a bibliography for you. This is AMAZING! How many hours have I spent after the long essay has finally been finished just trying to get all my citations properly done????? All taken care of for me now! This will be really handy when it comes to the hundreds of references I will have for my thesis!

P.S. Thesis update coming tomorrow. Now for a little escape with the 1st episode of Mad Men.

Structuralism or Semiotics?

About to start a long day of classes. After reading 8 articles on structuralism I find I understand semiotics! I sure do hope my prof can unravel this mystery for me this afternoon.

I have returned from class more confused than going in. But I believe that structuralism is the system of studying human culture through semiotics. I think... Perhaps some progress today. Although the onslaught of terms and theories is rather intense. Why all the difficult language to understand a simple concept?

Welcome to my blog!

Hi!

This is my very first blog post! I hope to fill this blog with all my pains and gains from graduate school.

At the moment, I'm trying to settle into a new city, meet new people that are part of my program, and deal with the fact that I am expected to have my thesis chosen already!!!!! Overwhelmed? I am extremely overwhelmed. I feel in way over my head. Everyone is uber smart and uber experienced in Theatre and/or academics and I feel I have a lot to catch up on and a lot to prove.

I'm sure the second week will be better... right?